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| After i'm done with about a year and half left of school for the 4 year degree, it will be time to start thinking where I will be heading. I"d like to go to law school. I want to and think I should become a lawyer. I have what it takes. I got this.. i just know i got this. Tim and I were looking up housing on and off for the past few years in NC area. with only $10k down payment, we can buy a nice 4 BR house for around $200k and only pay around $1000 for mortgage around.. that is pretty impressive. I should probably start saving as much as I can and give us a couple of years. I'd like to be able to settle. Everything I've seen and heard about NC seem great so far. I have friends there, we won't be completely alone. We'll have Teddy. There are a few law schools that I would be able to apply to. Duke is obviously a brand name school with great reputation but i dont think i can afford it. i'd have to work my ass off on the LSAT, luckily i've been doing well in school so i don't have to worry about my GPA as much. Duke rake 10 in the country >.< then there's UNC~ in Chapel Hill, i wonder if it's a more affordable choice ...wake forest has a law school too..
i'm dying to move already, i'm dying to start fresh in a new place. I hate Massachusetts. I hate the politics and the way the people are. I'm ready for a bigger change. I get the jitters in my stomach when i think about moving. i hope this day will come soon.. really really soon! | | |
| It's been years since I've blogged. I've scatter-ly written here and there. nowadays, mostly recent fuses on facebook. I don't have a lot of friends, but the friends I have are the bestest even though they are nowhere near me. I've been so accustomed to just chatting with people, chatting with my boyfriend, chatting with my friends, chatting with people i work with. Where did I go? I'm not even sure anymore.
I've had a tough 2009. The worse I've ever gone through. One minute i was at the bottom the other, i was on top. From almost being homeless and unemployed to having a career and my own apartment in a matter of weeks. I've had run ins with the law, I've won my own trial several times. I started to continue the career i was meant to be, i strive very hard and took my career to the next level in the same year. I'm a fearless woman now! Call me a bitch if you will. I think there's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself and not let the world stare you down.
Am i still immature? yes. am i still naive? of course. am i still spoiled? ha, that will never change. have i been living my life very hard every day? that's my theme. it doesn't matter where i am, i always want to stay true to myself.
Law school soon to come! i have to have tougher skin, i should probably not wear my heart on my sleeve. I should keep my temper and be calm. i should maintain my professionalism and civility with people i can't stand.
I should do a lot to make other ppl's life easier.. but why? respect works both ways. I'm 27. Age is really just a number after a certain stage in your life. I was in love.. really really in love. I am in love... not head over heels passion, but trusting and believing. I don't have the man of my dreams. I have a man I would like to compromise to and commit for a life time. Dreams are impractical and not reality. Why dream when you can have reality? My dog is my mental stability who constantly reminds me that I am being loved and adored.
it's the people in my life that taught me how to love and live. Where did I go? nowhere. I am only as far as you'd imagine me to be. I did not lose myself. I've transitioned into a better, more confident me and I've never felt better than the way i do about myself now. I love what I do for a living, I love most of the people i work with. Law can be inspiring, if you are working with the right people! Out of this field, there are plenty more to be desired for with another firm! hopefully soon I will wave goodbye to them! soon! really really hope it to be SOON =D | | |
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等待 一點一滴 你對我感到安心
感覺 朋友關係 有了新的默契
便利商店裡 誰也買不到
我們最想要的東西 只握在 喜歡的人手上
給我你的愛 讓我陪著你去未來
給我你的愛 手拉著手 不放開
就算宇宙爆炸 海水都蒸發
只願你的記憶裡 有我的擁抱
我的 最大幸褔 是發現了我愛你
靈魂 有了意義 用每一天珍惜
便利商店裡 誰也買不到
我們最想要的東西 只握在 喜歡的人手上
給我你的愛 讓我陪著你去未來
給我你的愛 手拉著手 不放開
就算宇宙爆炸 海水都蒸發
只願你的記憶裡 有我的擁抱
雨和天空也有 相愛的可能
望著妳的微笑 情不自禁
給我你的愛 讓我陪著你去未來
給我你的愛 手拉著手 不放開
就算宇宙毀滅 來不及流淚
只願你的記憶裡 有我的擁抱 | | |
| Here it comes again, the beautiful season of white snow, bright lights, Christmas tree, ringing bells, good food and people. The best New England has to offer, our first storm of the season arrived quietly last night. I however, is on the offense of having to dig my car out of snow dune. As much as I love snow, standing in the freezing cold wiping snow off of my car isn't really an ideal scenario for me. Sadly, it has to be done. When I left Sharon years ago, I sworn to never come back.. but.. life is weird, here I stand... again
Something more I love about winter other than white snow, winter sports is probably Hot Cocoa, warm blankie and in the arms of my bf!! No really, I like the snuggling up for warmth feeling, it makes me feel safe and content. There's nothing in the world that makes me feel better than being hugged by Tim. Good thing I picked a guy who has broad shoulders tall and warm huh hahahahahaaa. I've been grouchy lately, I know I have, i couldn't explain why, it's like I have these butterflies in my stomach roaming headlessly because I'm anxious, anxious about my trip, anxious about the traveling, anxious about packing, anxious about seeing my parents, my relatives, cousins.. anxious about landing in a country I feel very little closure to yet strangely familiar in this very tinted, translucent way. I'm anxious about my language skills, I'm even more anxious because I'm bringing my significant other on this trip which makes me even more anxious than going there alone. coz it's not just me and myself anymore, it's someone else I have to look after, and cared for and someone I'll be introducing to the other part of my world, to people who I have very little closure to but yet strangely familiar with.
I haven't really accepted the concept that in the future, it won't just be me anymore, it's like getting married (we have been looking at rings  ) but worse, because it's not that serious yet but is getting to it. I really should sleep on this anxiousness should I LOL
can't help it. I always get like this before I go on a trip
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| My boyfriend and I have been looking at apartments in the past weekends, because we've made the decision to move in together when my current lease ends which will be end of next March. I'm not quite sure if this decision is more of a push over by my selfishness or, he finally realized that this is the next step we are heading towards together. Either way, seems like the decision is finalized. .... pause (lost my train of thought for a sec here hahahha)
Quite honestly, it is such a big deal for me too, i mean.. i've been living on my own (having the luxury of having my own room) since i was 18 (except for one year of dormitory life in college which i barely got to see either of my roommates at the time so.. eh does that count?) so.. having to share my bedroom and living space will be interesting.
but.. i mean.. as much as i pushed for the decision of us moving in together,, i am scared u know.. cos i never had to share my bedroom before.. even tho he's my boyfriend.. i like to have things done a certain way.. like for example.. folding laundry.. we already have our own views on doing it.. i think the way he does sucks.. cos they just don't come out compact and it takes a lot of space, also his clothes are a lot bigger than mine so its harder to fold.. i mean.. my sock is the size of his palm >.< but.. i am scared >.< , i hope we're making the right decision
...... and believe it or not, i do enjoy my own peace at times,, i like putting on soft music while painting my nails, or just stare at the blank sky zoning away with my thoughts,, i like giving my dog hugs and kisses, i like writing when i have something on my mind, i like driving and not knowing where i'm going just watching things pass me by, i enjoy time with myself! even if it means folding laundry and cooking..
dead serious but i find cooking very therapeutic, it's an accomplishment really, when a dish come out whether or not it taste good, it was put in thoughts and effort, and there's a certain way to make it that everyone differs on just by being an individual.
im not the greatest speaker, i never was, it's always easier for me to write my heart out than speak my heart out, because i'm more focused when i'm writing and i'm constantly distracted when i'm speaking, but also because i feel like a lot of words comes most sincere in writing, because it's another way of putting efforts and thoughts into something, even if it's just a line, it's actually lifting a pen to write that line,, or putting ur fingers thru the tips of keyboard to make it show up on the computer screen. which is probably why i'm writing down my fear and not really talk about it,, because quite honestly, i hadn't even thought about my fears about moving in with bf til i started writing this entry, it just came out,, out of my hands, how scared i am to take the next step, but i guess i'll find out, i am excited for the most part though.. its almost 4am.. gosh..
Thanksgiving,, so many ppl to thank for this year..
my parents, my sister, even tho we don't get along sometimes.. family is always family,, bf is family.. lol.. i stopped correcting ppl on WoW when they refer to him as my hubby or me as his wife, i think he never did bother correcting them. meh.. why? feels like we've been married forever lol we sure fight like that hahahhaaaa
but ya.. much thanks to my best friend Rachael for just being who she is and being there thru my ups and downs, she's the best person to go to when you need sincerity, my boss from ny!!!!!! my fake daddy, he is definitely one of the most inspiring person ive ever met in my life,, and he taught mes soo much in the 2 yrs i worked for him that i can't thank him enough for,, he's more than a boss, he's like a guardian, it felt like he took over the responsibilities of my parents,, to guide me and help me become this person that is bright, positive and hopeful, it felt like he was there those 2 yrs to make up for the some of the most important years in my life that my parents wasn't there for.
thanks to my doggie,, he taught me so much about love and life, i never knew you could love something so much even when it frustrates u... he taught me patience, and being considerate of other ppl, and loving unconditionally, and having not holding back,
bf's family,, >.< they deal with a lot.. maybe too much,, but yet they are still accepting even after almost 3 yrs.. whew
the friends i made on wow.. hahahaaa. it's like its own society almost, but i made good friendships on there,
vivian !!!!!!!! i always find it soo comforting knowing that no matter where we are physically we are still on eachother's mind at times. she's the longest friend i have, ive known her since i was eh... in 5th grade,, that's a loooong time ago from now and i can still remember meeting her in 5th grade like it was yesterday and look at us now,, major difference,,
my friends in NH!! son saved my life in cape cod hahaha i can't forget that,, must be a friend thing,, and he's been there for me a lot.. im glad to be able to act like an older sister to some degree guiding him and helping him learn about things in life just as i was helped and also being able to learn from him as well.
also,, just thanks to a lot of ppl helping me and being there for me along the way here and there,, just little things,,
things that made u open up and see the world from another pov
im so glad that i am writing again.. weblogging really.. it helps to ease my mind and relief some tensions and stress. on a happier note,, im starting to count down the days to our china trip waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaohoooooooooooooooooooo 
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